I qualified for the Boston Marathon three years ago in a time of 3:09:45. In three days I'm attempting another BQ under the new time standard of 3:05.
I have my doubts, just like I did back then. I struggled over the summer with the humidity, and just when I caught my stride, I had to take a week and a half off in October due to shin splints. It's weird, this mentality I've had over the past few weeks. It's like I've been setting myself up to accept not qualifying. I've already been thinking about what I can do better next year. I'm pretty sure I'm capable of qualifying, I just don't know that it will happen this year.
I'm not even sure where this obsession with Boston came from, and I'm wondering how I will feel if I actually do make it there someday. Will it be enough to quell whatever it is that drives me in the first place?
Stevie is coming with me into the city on Sunday morning. My dad, stepmother, and friends Amy, Brian and Alicia are going to be on the course. Tahsin is going to meet me at mile 24 and pace me to the finish. I've got a tremendous amount of crowd support coming, and I'm worried I may not live up to the hype.
On a lighter note, a conversation I had with one of my students today:
Student: Are you going to win the marathon?
Student: Why not?
Me: Because I'm not Kenyan.