Sunday, August 23, 2015

Wiggle Jiggle Giggle 5k Race Report

This morning I straight up won a 5k.

This is a very rare event in my running life, last occurring in 2011, so pardon me while I celebrate a little.

But this wasn't just any old 5k.  This one was extra special, because I won the entire thing wearing nothing but shoes and socks.

Say what you will about me, but don't ever try to call me boring.

It was always on my running bucket list to try out a clothing optional race, so when I found a flier for this race at the Haddonfield Running Company, I figured why not give it a shot?  So I drove an hour and a half out to the Sunny Rest Resort in Palmerton, Pennsylvania this morning to check this one off the list.

Sunny Rest Resort is a sprawling complex amidst rolling farmland just off of Rt. 476.  The main hub of the resort centers around the swimming pool close to the entrance, but campgrounds and connecting roads snake out across the 190 acre property.  It was on these roads that the 5k was run.

Going into the race I thought I might have a chance at winning, because I doubted there were many nudists who were also serious runners, and few serious runners who would dare to bare it all, as they say.  But at the starting line I saw a number of men, young and old, who looked fairly serious.  They were checking their Garmins and discussing the course and race strategies, just like any other race, yet all were standing there completely in the buff.  The competition, as it turns out was, uh, pretty stiff.

Thanks, folks, I'll be here all week.  Try the veal and always tip your waiter.

"It's my birthday today," one guy told another.  "What better way to celebrate my birthday than in my birthday suit?"

We started a little past 10am, and I quickly fell in just behind the lead pack.  You haven't lived until you've run a race with nothing to chase but several naked male butts in front of you.

The only spectators were nudists who live at the camp through the summer and have set up elaborate campgrounds with their RV's.  Some cheered for us while others went about their Sunday morning routine in the nude.  We had to complete the course loop twice to make it 3.1 miles.  One by one the other guys fell behind until I took the lead with about a half mile to go, and charged through the finish line in 19:52.  I was the only one to break 20 minutes from the field of 129.

This really was a well done race and a lot of fun overall, and I can easily recommend it.  My one complaint, though, is that there was no water on the course.  There were two giant jugs (no not those kind) at the finish area which doubled as the halfway point, but no cups in sight. I was parched early in the race and as soon as I crossed the finish line I mentioned the lack of water to the race director.

Me: There was no water on the course!
Race Director: Yup!  No need for it in a 5k.  By the time the water has any effect on you, you're already finished.

Um, I don't know that I buy the science behind that.  I don't care what the distance is, when you host a race in August with a start time of 10am, especially on a day like today when there wasn't a cloud in the sky, it is borderline negligent to not offer water on the course.

At round 12 we all met down by the pool for the awards ceremony.  The place was packed with the pool side bar "Streakers" doing a brisk trade.  For my win I received a trophy as well as a $25 gift certificate for the professional body painter they had at the resort that day.  I didn't have time to get painted as I had to get home to the wife and baby.

Taking pictures is generally taboo at nudist resorts, and the last thing the internet (or my students) need is a picture of me having a flapping good time, shall we say, so I'll just share a picture of the shirt and trophy and call it a day.

Suffice it to say this was a wonderfully strange morning, and one I won't soon forget.


  1. haha, this is great! this is also on my bucket list, good to hear a positive review from one relatively nearby (i live at the shore).congrats!

    1. Thanks, Christina! Yes, it was a great time. Very unique racing experience of course and one I would do again even though I've crossed it off the bucket list.


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