|On Chapel Island at Camp Ockanickon|
People run for so many different reasons. They run to lose weight. To connect with someone. To push themselves. To overcome a difficulty. To inspire. To win.
Me? Out of the many reasons I run, one is to exert a sense of control over my life at times when things seem to be spiraling out of control. Because I can control running. I can control when I run, where I run, how fast and how long, with whom I run, and how often. The sense of control may be only an illusion, but it's a welcome one.
But I've been feeling that control slip away this fall. I will most likely not run the Philadelphia Marathon next month. I will most likely not finish the year with 2,014 miles. I had planned to run 14 miles today, but I didn't make it out the door until late in the day, and by then I only had time for 10.
As life changes and priorities shift, I am doing my best to be ok with all of this. Stevie, Neale and I went to a local farm to pick pumpkins today, and then to Camp Ockanickon, where we were married, for a fall festival there. I knew I wanted to do 14 miles, and we could have easily come home earlier to give me time to do so, but I decided I was more interested in spending a beautiful fall day in the woods with the family I am building than logging the "correct" number of miles on my calendar.
It's still difficult trying to give up the sense of control running makes me feel, and I'm genuinely sad about missing out on so many of my running goals this year. But I'm also starting to realize how worth it all is: