Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Ryan Hall wants you to know he can totally kick your ass now

REDDING, CALIFORNIA - Retired U.S. marathoner and newly buff Ryan Hall was recently spotted strutting around a local Planet Fitness intimidating those around him, sources confirm.

"You even lift, bro?" he reportedly asked a teenager adding weights to his benchpress.  "What do you max out at, bro?  Not gonna lie, I'm at like 300 now."

Hall then removed his shirt and began flexing in the mirror, daring anyone within earshot to come at him.

As the day wore on, Hall showed no sign of relenting.  When a high school cross country team showed up, he began calling them candyasses and telling them to choose a real sport as he ripped a telephone book in two.

"Gosh, Ryan Hall turned into a real douche," said computer programmer Randy Radzminski, who was warming up on the elliptical at the time.  He quickly added, "Please don't tell him I said that."

A manager was finally called over to talk to Hall, at which point witnesses report Hall yelling something about GTL.

At press time, Hall was still in the gym, grunting loudly at his reflection in the mirror while curling free weights and muttering about protein shakes.

1 comment:

  1. He said he suffered from low testosterone, and this was one of the reasons he retired. His physique looked like a patient that lacked Testosterone.
    CLearly he is on testosterone replacement now.


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